Saturday, April 5, 2008


I have never liked this word; I'm not sure why. It feels strange rolling off my lips and connotes something strange, though exactly what has always been ambiguous to me until now.

If you have read previous posts, you know that we have recently started giving Samuel solids. As of this morning he has had rice cereal, sweet potatoes and squash. So far so good and fun.

As I have been reading to try to figure out this whole solids thing, which has been rather intimidating, I continue to see the word weaning, used where I prefer to see something like starting/feeding solids or feeding infants. Even manufacturers use it to describe bowls and spoons. I have a problem with this word because it seems to communicate something like "the process of your child going from breastfeeding to real food has begun, and, hallelujah that will be soon." It just feels negative to me. Seems urgent even. I think I am overreacting. Definitely I have noticed some unhealthy mothering patterns whereby I like being needed by Samuel and am a bit too zealous to be the perfect mom (which has turned out to be so not the case) maybe that is what this is about. I should be happy that Samuel will soon no longer need me for his survival in such a dramatic way. I should be thankful that for six months God has seemingly-miraculously enabled my body to meet all his dietary needs. I should be happy that the process of him eating solids means that one day soon I can finally eat all the foods I miss (since I avoid them now because of his allergies). These things are good, I know. I just wish the authors of these books would choose a more gentle-sounding verb for mothers like me who are a bit too attached (for lack of a better word). Has anyone else had this experience?
Okay, after posting this, I have been thinking...perhaps I would not feel so passsionate about this where I at home, with Samuel, all day. Maybe it is a particular struggle of working moms?


rogerse said...

Hey Ashley. I don't have to "wean" yet. Our son, Pax, is only 10 weeks old....but I have ALL the same feelings that you do (needing to be needed...perhaps too attached, etc.). What a joy and a miracle these babes are. Hope you and David are well. I follow your blog. Here's ours, if you want to take a peak:

Best - Elise

CoopMia&Livvy's Dad said...

Hi Ash,
Is he bigger than you yet? I looked at some of the pictures since I haven't kept up with anyone in the last few months. It doesn't appear that it will take much longer for him to outweigh you; is that when you mark the day you stop nursing?

Jessica said...

Ashley, just because he is starting solids it doesn't mean he is DONE with you : ) Cheer up! For feeding, he'll gladly nurse until he is 14-15 months old along with sampling all sorts of things, so the nursing life can still be yours : )[Some people go on nursing longer, I opted for that time stretch] Also, he SOOOOOO needs you for SOOOOO many more things! Wait until he starts moving around, needing you to make his world safe while he begins to explore. Then, when he learns about other kids, he'll SOOOO need you to be there and help him ease into this relationship thing! He will need you to make the world stable when you are in unfamiliar surroundings, the world calm when he is having storms within, the world sunny when he is feeling sad, and so on... Oh, there is much more out there on your mothering road! And, even when they are 10 years old, nothing can lift the spirit and ease a wound... like mummy time! So, don't let manufacturers/authors' words bog you down : ) To Samuel, there will always be ONLY one mummy and THAT can't be substituted, ever : )

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