Something Wonderful

...is in the works. My pessimism tells me I ought not share it...as nothing is official yet. Quiet, sober, doubtful---so as to be less dissapointed later on...

But, as a fervent lover of hope, despite being a nominal believer of it's existence, here it is:

In the near future Samuel and I might board a plane. I will likely look haggard; Samuel will likely look like he has leprosy (due to the absence of all steroids and antihistimines the four days prior). And, as if magically, we will be transported to a place where a team of amazing people will care about him and know him by name. They will also be brilliant doctors who have the potential to truly heal his little, exhausted body.

I could go on in this fashion for awhile, but sparing you the drama, we are waiting to find out when (and if) we will be scheduled to go to National Jewish Health in Denver.

David and I have put up our white flags...we are not able to help him. Lord knows we have tried. As has our pediatrician, allergist, and dermatologist. Nothing short of a happy dose of Prednisone will do the trick. Sadly, that is a med that can't be rubbed into his inflamed skin, nor taken more than once or twice a year.

If you saw him today, you might not notice. He had on long linen pants, socks under his Keens, shirt tucked in. But even me, while bathing him tonight, almost had to look away when I caught a glimpse of his backside. He was screaming/crying because he was both itchy and hurting. He was frustrated because I kept trying to distract his mind and hands from scratching while I started to put on his wet wraps.

So, for now we are done with restricting foods like white potato, tomato, and strawberries for weeks at a time hoping to find the culprit. I am now quietening all those voices in my head that say "aha, perhaps it is this damn front-load washing machine that harbors so much mold", or "oh, maybe those new vitamins were somehow cross-contaminated with one of his allergens in the factory and THAT is it!" Done. I can't do it. I would if it were possible, but I simply cannot heal him. I know that now.

The average stay is two weeks. He will specifically be treated for his eczema while searching for the trigger. Therefore, there will be lots and lots of work done in regard to his food allergies. I feel strongly that we are missing something. A grown allergy to something like sesame, corn, or oat? Perhaps I have underestimated his dust mite allergy, and rather than sleeping on a bed at night we ought buy a cute leather couch for his room. Anyway, like I said, I am trying to put the detective Mama away and just try to love him well with all that can be known today. Leaving the detective/doctor/Debbie-downer up to the Big Dogs in Denver.